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Mavuno Day and Night Club Church 

Mavuno Chourch



A long time ago, my parents decided to save us from gishagi and bring us to live in the City in the Sun.

We happened to stay in Eastleigh but after my watch was “borrowed” twice I knew being an “eastlando” guy wasn’t going to cut it. My mom wholly agreed with me.

For whatever reason, my dad could never find his way home in the midst of all those day and night clubs in Eastleigh and Park Road. His car always got mechanical failure just outside Super Mambo…..every day!

 

So we moved to South C.

Oh, boy, what a glorious time that was. New houses, living 10 minutes from town and wild animals passing near the Nairobi National Park.

Those were great times. All I had to tell a gal was that I live in South C and I was all set.

That was then. Fast forward 2011 and South C has become Eastleigh B.

 

The Deaf in South C

What do you do when there are some 100,001 mosques in South C. Every corner of this place has been turned into a 5am shouting match.

Here I am minding my own business in a very nice dream and some 100,000 Imams decide to compete on which Mosque has the biggest public address system.

Exactly which planning department allows all these mosques in such a small area.

 

My Muslim brethren, please don’t fret. I like the buibui’s but really…..

 

Mavuno Church

mavuno church1 Mavuno Day and Night Club ChurchNot to be outdone are the Christians at Mavuno Day and Night Club Church.

I have no problem if you wish to kesha….but really? Every Friday night? Do you really have to scream into those second rate microphones? Who asked you about Jesus at 12 midnight?

All I want to do is f******g sleep!

Not to be outdone are the drunkards at MOW sports club.

It really isn’t fair on the rest of us who do not want to listen to mugithi on Saturdays. Nothing is more annoying than hearing a woman, who you can tell is older than your mom, screaming “hutia mundu” at 1am at night.

Someone save us before we all go deaf in South C.

South C Matatus

Of course never to be left behind is that noisy silly matatu in South C called Kalkanai or something to that effect.

Now, here is the perfect example of why parents should endevour to take their kids to primary school coz this dude is just……slow!

At 6am in the morning, the fellow has to blast his silly horn to announce to the world that his matatu is in the area.

That would be dumb enough until you see middle aged men and women fighting to enter the said contraption. All in the name of going to work with the noisiest car in Kenya.

If you can wear a suit and tie and start fighting with school going children to enter a matatu, wewe ni jinga sana!

So between the Volkswagen engine planes, the Mosques, the Mavuno Day and Night Club, some silly matatus and drunk middle aged women, I think South C is going to the dogs.

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About the author: Chiriku

Listen, if you can't deal with me, then take a hike...It's a free world out here.

  • Tq

    Ah…..FANTASTIC writing skills!!! Thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed the piece. Had to read a paragraph like thrice before moving to the next just to ensure the wording was actually written as it was n i just wasnt dreaming! And of course…great content too! Creativity…99%! Relatability…99% Objectivity…99%! Ok…i am obviously not giving 100% so that u dont grow horns. Hahaha.
    P.s: i know i seemed carried away and may have read this a little too late….but just wanted to give props to the writer of this simple yet great masterpiece!

  • Eclairz247

    oh pliz!it is jus because you are too old to contain the noise , move out! the shag mundu in you clearly tells it all……..wacha the hooting matatus do there thing….ever heard of earpluggs? get yourself one….you nid them